Monday, January 30, 2006

The story of two cows

I have come across this satirical humour. It goes like this:

>>>>

DUBAI SYSTEM:
You have two cows. You create a website for them and advertise them in all the magazines. You create a Cow City or Milk Town for them. You sell off their milk before the cows have even been milked to both legit and shady investors who hope to resale the nonexistent milk for a 100% profit in two years time. You bring Tiger Woods to milk the cow first to attract attention.

QATAR SYSTEM:
You have two cows. They've been sitting there for decades and no one realized that cows could produce milk. You see what Dubai is doing; you go crazy and start milking the heck out of the cows in the shortest time possible. Then you realize no one wanted the milk in the first place.

SAUDI SYSTEM:
Since milking the cow involves nipples the Gov't decides to ban all cows in public. The only method to milk a cow is to have a cow on one side of a curtain and a guy milking the cow on the other or to hire females and train them to milk the cows ... The debate is still going on.

BAHRAIN SYSTEM:
You have two cows. Some high Gov't official steals one, milks it, sells the milk and pockets the profit. The Gov't tells you that there is just one cow and not enough milk for the people. The people riot and scream death to the Gov't and carry Iranian flags. The Parliament, after thinking for 11 month, decides to employ ten Bahrainis to all milk the cow at the same time and so cutting back on unemployment.

LEBANON SYSTEM:
You have two cows. One is owned by Syria and the other is controlled by Hizbollah.

EGYPTIAN SYSTEM:
You have two cows. Both are voting for Mobarak!

AMERICAN SYSTEM:
You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow dropped dead.

FRENCH SYSTEM:
You have two cows. You go on strike because you wanted three cows.

RUSSIAN SYSTEM:
You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 2 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

BRITISH SYSTEM:
You have two cows. Both are mad.

PAKISTAN SYSTEM:
You have 2 cows, though there are 500 people who claim that they belong to them because either cow may or may not have stepped on their land at one stage or has a link to their family farming history.

Several people will die as a result of this argument due to shootings. The govt claims the cows and says that they are govt property but offer no explanation and as the army will come along and take them, no one will query it.

All the proceeds of the milk will go in to the pockets of the 1 or 2 govt officials from whichever department they came from. If they sold the milk to local companies then they will have sold it for an inflated price and will have actually given less milk if any at all, and will have made up some 'official explanation' for this.

Though if the customer is external ...from the UK or US then they would give the milk AND cows and will be convinced to waive the fee as it will mean 'diplomatic relations' will exist and that they will be considered an 'ally'.
>>>>

0 Comments:

Post a Comment

<< Home